Sumi-e I did in Japan
In Fall 2008 I started my animation course in university.
That year of my university life was not exactly what I expected. I never imagined that there would be such a small amount of time required to be on campus. Having only lectures on 3 days of the week was very dissapointing, because I was dying to have a social life. But I ended up being a hermit yet again. But this time I did not play video games that much. My new passion was to improve my art in anyway possible.
I remember how anxious I was becoming (so soon after Germany had finally made me confident again), though concept of time was my biggest fear. I always thought about not wasting any minute, since the student/rent expenses my mom was paying always put guilt on me. I wanted to make the best of my time in the university.
I was reviving my cartoon roots during the freshman year by reading as many animation history books as possible.
At the end of the year I went to Seoul for some time, and one of the most unusual things I did there were these paintings.
As the last year of high school was ending I finally saw hope. So I slowly started to get back into drawing.
Middle school made me play more and more games, but my high school free time consisted entirely of video games. It was the only sanctuary from all the disgust and ugliness I had to deal with in the community of my school. I had to often question myself if it was maybe me who was abnormal instead of everyone else. Luckily, all the negativity was washed away once I stepped into the different worlds of virtual reality.
In the mid 2000’s there was a huge battle between different video game companies. This is when I discovered online forums and that is what made me do this.
Still, none of the online forums could ever break my loneliness.
When I went to high school my creativity was probably at the lowest point possible. From the very start I did not know any of the people there, and later I just stayed away from everyone (reason: disgust). So being a complete loner for 3 years made me stiff, anxious and very awkward. As it is evident in very few drawings I did there.
The true Dark Age of my life.
One of the meanest things I made during middle school (grade 8-9) was my infamous comic series. Starring my classmate.
He was this snobby kid who also stood out because of his trademark suitcase he brought with him to school everyday.
Even though a lot of the kids in my class thought the comic was a brilliant idea, I did apologize to the guy in the end.
I don’t think I should post the rest as it may be too gross.
There was another comic series starring a bully-type classmate. He was the tallest and fattest guy in our class, who could care less if his nasty behaviur offends anyone. He liked getting into both small and big fights.
Again, I should not post the rest of this.
Basically, at the time I was going through some dark times. But I guess I never forgot how to turn something into humour, no matter how tasteless it may be.
I was going through a very uncomfortable time during puberty. Both the middle school life and events at home were turning me into a very different person. Thus I was becoming more and more cynical, temperamental and incredibly lonely. Suicidal thoughts were also very common from the age of 13.
I could not live safely in the world so ugly and unfair. It seemed like the only way to survive was to blend in with the rest of the mean-spirited crowd.
So I became a class caricaturist.